So I have some sympathy for her. I really do. But now I'm the parent who has realized in hindsight that I really wish I would have stuck with it. I can "play," if that's what you call it. I can plunk out a few hymns and I might even be able to play Choose the Right fast enough for you to sing along without wanting to poke your eyes out (ever been in Sacrament meeting and the songs are being played waaay tooooo slllooooww?). Okay, back to my point.
We struggle with Brynlee every day to get her to practice. Tears, throwing herself on the couch, 9 year old tantrum. What a stubborn one she is! :) I'm pretty sure she knows the notes. Rob quizzes her with flashcards. I know she likes her teacher. But for whatever reason, she just doesn't like to play the piano. I get that. There are things I don't like to do either. But playing the piano is such a good skill. Sigh.
Last night after she finished practicing, I went into the living room and saw this note on the piano.
I just laughed it off. She has always been my dramatic one. She is also one that loves to leave notes around the house. I really wish I would have taken pictures of the "notes war" she and Landon were having during Christmas break, leaving post it notes on the toilet lid for the other to see. It was comical. Notes teasing the other one about TV shows they like to watch, with "LOL", smiley faces, and "hahaha" doodled all over the square paper. Things like "Landon likes girlie mermaid shows" (can't remember exactly how that one came up) or "Brynlee likes to watch my big big fried (yes it said fried and not friend)" Sibling silliness/teasing, really. But I laughed every time I saw a new one.
This morning I took Ashlee to piano for her 7:45 a.m. lesson (we're trying out morning lessons this school year since they are so busy after school with ballet and gymnastics and Activity Days. Wednesday is a "late start" day at the middle school so she goes to school an hour later instead of having to be at the bus stop at 7:50. It's working so far!) When I got home I went to wake Brynlee up. I quietly called her name and she didn't budge. So I said it a little louder, telling her it was time to get ready for piano. Still no movement. I knew she was bluffing. Finally she opened her eyes, scowled and rolled over. Funny thing is, on every other day besides Wednesday, she is up on her own by that time. Hmmmm. I told her I would make her pancakes if she started getting ready. She slowly rolled out of bed. It wasn't until after I had taken her and come back home when Ashlee asked me if I saw the note Brynlee left. Yes, I saw the one on the piano. No, I hadn't seen the one above her bed. So I went to take a look...
Do I let her quit? Take a break? I hate these decisions. Help!
4 comments:
I, too, can sympathize with her and you. Bryan hates it and hasn't had a lesson in 4 years. Luke also throws fits (I have Tyler trying to teach him...it's not working out so well.) But I wish I had kept playing when I was a kid. Our ward struggles with someone who can play the organ or piano in all the organizations. I know there are so many kids that play in our ward, but wonder if all us adults quit way too soon so we can't play. It's a tough one, because you don't want her to hate it, but you want her to be able to play. In the Faith in God there is a goal about learning to play or sing a song and then talks about how developing talents will help serve Heavenly Father. You can tell her about my ward's situation and that I wish I could be someone that could fill one of those positions. Someday her ward will need someone to play, too, and maybe she doesn't like it now, but she will be glad when she hasn't hidden her talents...and use that story in the Bible about talents. :) On a side note, Bryan is interested in band. Maybe tell her if she keeps it up she can choose a different instrument when she gets to middle school?
I say let her quit. But show a lot of empathy. Tell her you had the same problem and that you wished you had kept at it. But make it her decision.
Maybe you can tell her you think she's old enough to decide this on her own. Give her some control in this area and maybe she won't seek control elsewhere in less desirable areas?
I learned to play again as an adult when I really wanted to.
And I never blamed my mom for not making me keep at it when I was younger :)
Thanks for the advice! Another friend mentioned "give her all of the reasons you understand where she's coming from, all of the reasons you would really hope she keeps taking, and then let her decide. My parents let me quit when I wanted to, but then they let me start taking again when I wanted to too. If she hates it she's never going to play- even if she can." I've been thinking through it more and enjoy reading others take on it and we will definitely be sitting down with her for a little heart to heart and be totally understanding/okay with it if she chooses to not continue. :) Thanks! Sounds so much better than letting her just quit. I think that's why I have a problem with it...connecting it with the word quit!
Maybe have her choose a different instrument instead. Maybe music just isn't her thing, but it is a really good skill to have. I did violin when I was in elementary school, but quit when my teacher moved. Then when I was in junior high, I tried to convince my mom to get me a guitar. She said if I learned to play 20 hymns on our keyboard, she would get me one. So I taught myself 20 hymns and she bought a piano, not a guitar. The funny thing is, I enjoy playing the piano, so it was probably a good choice for her to make. Still... I think it is important for kids to be able to feel like they have a voice in decisions that affect their lives. Otherwise, they'll just resent it later on.
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